Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

72 Responses to Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?
  1. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 4:41 am

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  2. Fashion
    April 19, 2018 | 7:20 am

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  3. Marina Demaranville
    April 19, 2018 | 7:41 am

    Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you However I am experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  4. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 8:18 am

    I’m commenting to make you understand what a impressive encounter my friend’s princess had going through your blog. She mastered some pieces, including what it is like to have a very effective helping character to get the rest completely know a variety of advanced matters. You actually surpassed our own expected results. Many thanks for showing those valuable, trusted, revealing and also cool guidance on the topic to Mary.

  5. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 8:56 am

    Simply wanna tell that this is handy , Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  6. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 5:18 pm

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  7. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 10:03 pm

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  8. News
    April 19, 2018 | 10:32 pm

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  9. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 11:03 pm

    I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks!

  10. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 12:39 am

    Enjoyed looking at this, very good stuff, regards . “What the United States does best is to understand itself. What it does worst is understand others.” by Carlos Fuentes.

  11. Family Home Design
    April 20, 2018 | 2:38 am

    Good blog! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a great day!

  12. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 2:38 am

    Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.

  13. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 4:10 am

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  14. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 6:09 am

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    April 20, 2018 | 6:36 am

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    April 20, 2018 | 10:41 am

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  17. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 2:05 pm

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  18. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 5:36 pm

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  19. Health and Fitness
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  20. News
    April 20, 2018 | 10:06 pm

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  21. Health and Fitness
    April 21, 2018 | 1:09 am

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  22. Health and Fitness
    April 21, 2018 | 2:32 am

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Leave a Reply


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Trackback URL http://mynextbuck.com/selling_a_kid_or_a_kidney/trackback/

Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

72 Responses to Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?
  1. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 4:41 am

    I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site :).

  2. Fashion
    April 19, 2018 | 7:20 am

    I simply couldn’t leave your site before suggesting that I extremely loved the usual information an individual provide in your visitors? Is gonna be back ceaselessly in order to investigate cross-check new posts.

  3. Marina Demaranville
    April 19, 2018 | 7:41 am

    Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you However I am experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  4. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 8:18 am

    I’m commenting to make you understand what a impressive encounter my friend’s princess had going through your blog. She mastered some pieces, including what it is like to have a very effective helping character to get the rest completely know a variety of advanced matters. You actually surpassed our own expected results. Many thanks for showing those valuable, trusted, revealing and also cool guidance on the topic to Mary.

  5. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 8:56 am

    Simply wanna tell that this is handy , Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  6. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 5:18 pm

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  7. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 10:03 pm

    As I web site possessor I believe the content matter here is rattling fantastic , appreciate it for your efforts. You should keep it up forever! Best of luck.

  8. News
    April 19, 2018 | 10:32 pm

    Simply wanna comment on few general things, The website style and design is perfect, the subject material is real fantastic. “Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote, And think they grow immortal as they quote.” by Edward Young.

  9. Health and Fitness
    April 19, 2018 | 11:03 pm

    I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks!

  10. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 12:39 am

    Enjoyed looking at this, very good stuff, regards . “What the United States does best is to understand itself. What it does worst is understand others.” by Carlos Fuentes.

  11. Family Home Design
    April 20, 2018 | 2:38 am

    Good blog! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a great day!

  12. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 2:38 am

    Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I’ll definitely be back.

  13. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 4:10 am

    Hi, Neat post. There is an issue along with your web site in internet explorer, may test this¡K IE still is the market leader and a good element of other people will leave out your magnificent writing because of this problem.

  14. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 6:09 am

    Just wanna input that you have a very nice website , I love the style and design it really stands out.

  15. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 6:36 am

    What i don’t realize is in reality how you’re not really much more neatly-liked than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You already know thus considerably relating to this topic, made me individually imagine it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t involved until it is one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs nice. Always maintain it up!

  16. News
    April 20, 2018 | 10:41 am

    I am not sure where you’re getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

  17. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 2:05 pm

    I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my website :).

  18. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 5:36 pm

    I’ve been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thanks , I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site?

  19. Health and Fitness
    April 20, 2018 | 6:18 pm

    Magnificent site. A lot of useful info here. I¡¦m sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And certainly, thank you to your sweat!

  20. News
    April 20, 2018 | 10:06 pm

    Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such wonderful info being shared freely out there.

  21. Health and Fitness
    April 21, 2018 | 1:09 am

    Hey, you used to write fantastic, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!

  22. Health and Fitness
    April 21, 2018 | 2:32 am

    What i don’t realize is if truth be told how you are no longer really a lot more well-liked than you may be now. You are very intelligent. You recognize thus considerably on the subject of this matter, made me personally consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t interested except it’s one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. At all times care for it up!

Leave a Reply


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