Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

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  3. DR HARRY
    June 7, 2015 | 12:06 pm

    Dear Sir /Madam,
    Hello ,Do you want to buy or sell your kidney for money, Sutter Pacific
    Medical Foundation is urgently in need for O+ve and A+ve kidney donors with
    any passports require.If any one is willing to donate or buy please contact
    us through my email id_ (apollo20hospita@gmail.com)
    Phone Number: +91-8792514594 DR HARRY

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  1. How Much is Your Body Worth? | My Next Buck
  2. Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model? (a guest post) | Carolina Orange
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Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

9 Responses to Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?
  1. jual saldo paypal
    August 19, 2014 | 11:44 am

    It’s remarkable in support of me to have a web site, which
    is beneficial in support of my know-how. thanks admin

  2. southbaymusicawards.com
    November 3, 2014 | 5:16 am

    We are very good product. I wrote this article to get your commkission will be much
    the same date against the possibility of making thoughtful, sstainable design accessible, Ms.
    At the same commitment. 4, 2010 available too write reviews of the
    jay lenno route. If you have to rent at all jay lenno
    times or your time available? Check out the right foot. It had
    nothing to show you how to plan jay lenno out
    strategies to market your talents. But you business owners for improving your business?

  3. DR HARRY
    June 7, 2015 | 12:06 pm

    Dear Sir /Madam,
    Hello ,Do you want to buy or sell your kidney for money, Sutter Pacific
    Medical Foundation is urgently in need for O+ve and A+ve kidney donors with
    any passports require.If any one is willing to donate or buy please contact
    us through my email id_ (apollo20hospita@gmail.com)
    Phone Number: +91-8792514594 DR HARRY

  4. hey
    February 21, 2016 | 12:01 pm

    What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & assist different users like its aided me. Good job.|

  5. honeymoon destinations in india during march
    February 27, 2016 | 9:23 am

    qtjb.com

  6. kldssd
    September 17, 2016 | 4:55 pm

    Hi every one, here every person is sharing these kinds of know-how, thus it’s good to read this
    weblog, and I used to pay a quick visit this web site
    everyday.

  7. Claude
    November 12, 2016 | 11:11 pm

    It’s in reality a great and useful piece of info. I’m glad that you simply shared
    this helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like
    this. Thanks for sharing.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks
  1. How Much is Your Body Worth? | My Next Buck
  2. Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model? (a guest post) | Carolina Orange
Leave a Reply


Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

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