Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

4,084 Responses to Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?
  1. Elizabet
    February 14, 2019 | 5:50 pm

    And this is an funding risk price taking.

  2. 사다리사이트
    February 15, 2019 | 12:12 am

    Here are a number of the web-sites we recommend for our visitors

  3. Gwen Nolley
    February 15, 2019 | 2:37 am

    We areWe’re a group of volunteers and startingopening a new scheme in our community. Your siteweb sitewebsite providedoffered us with valuable informationinfo to work on. You haveYou’ve done an impressivea formidable job and our wholeentire community will be gratefulthankful to you.

  4. đông tăng long
    February 15, 2019 | 4:47 am

    Im obliged for the post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

  5. pool builders in inland empire
    February 15, 2019 | 5:55 am

    I savour, cause I discovered exactly what I was taking a look for. You ave ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  6. West Palm Auto Accident Lawyer
    February 15, 2019 | 8:14 am

    Very good post. I will be dealing with many of these issues as well..

  7. سكس مراهقة مترجم
    February 15, 2019 | 9:04 am

    The data talked about in the article are a few of the most effective obtainable

  8. South African blog
    February 15, 2019 | 10:51 am

    Utterly written content, Really enjoyed looking at.

  9. Lovie
    February 15, 2019 | 5:20 pm

    Thanks in your interest in Funding Advice.

  10. Used cars in Hudsonville
    February 15, 2019 | 6:48 pm

    Thanks-a-mundo for the article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.

  11. Brent
    February 15, 2019 | 6:57 pm

    And this is an funding danger worth taking.

  12. Deidra Brittingham
    February 16, 2019 | 3:02 am

    I wanted to make a remark to say thanks to you for these awesome ways you are giving out on this site. My incredibly long internet search has now been paid with professional knowledge to talk about with my contacts. I ‘d state that that most of us visitors actually are rather blessed to be in a fabulous network with so many wonderful professionals with insightful advice. I feel very much lucky to have come across the webpage and look forward to many more awesome times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  13. Shenita Ogasawara
    February 16, 2019 | 3:26 am

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this blog. He used to be totally right. This put up actually made my day. You cann’t consider simply how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  14. Gwendolyn Castellaw
    February 16, 2019 | 3:53 am

    I’m impressed, I must say. Really, I rarely encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail regarding the head. Your idea is outstanding!

  15. 토토사이트
    February 16, 2019 | 5:25 am

    below you will discover the link to some internet sites that we assume you’ll want to visit

  16. Damian Bolar
    February 16, 2019 | 5:41 am

    Just right points?I might be aware that as anyone who in point of fact doesn’t write on blogs so much (if truth be told, this can be my first publish), I don’t assume the time period ‘lurker’ could be very turning into to a non-posting reader. It’s no longer your fault in the least , but possibly the blogosphere may just get a hold of a greater, non-creepy name for the ninety folks that revel in studying the content material .

  17. Spencer Bringhurst
    February 16, 2019 | 7:29 am

    Hi” best wishes to you and your very nice blog”   

  18. LolyCam 18+
    February 16, 2019 | 7:31 am

    we came across a cool web page that you just could love. Take a search should you want

  19. Edgardo Fanzo
    February 16, 2019 | 8:02 am

    Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  20. Lucie Bulat
    February 16, 2019 | 8:58 am

    Hi there, this is fantastic posting. I must say i enjoyed. However there are tons of off topic comments. I really advise you to get rid of or something like that. That’s only my opinion. Good luck!

  21. 먹튀검증
    February 16, 2019 | 11:40 am

    usually posts some incredibly exciting stuff like this. If you are new to this site

  22. Sharyl Hardyman
    February 16, 2019 | 11:44 am

    Terrific paintings! This is the kind of info that are meant to be shared across the internet. Disgrace on the seek for not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and seek advice from my site . Thanks =)

  23. 사설토토
    February 16, 2019 | 11:57 am

    check beneath, are some absolutely unrelated internet sites to ours, even so, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use

  24. Rubye Zinni
    February 16, 2019 | 12:23 pm

    you can buy some promise rings from ebay but those are the cheap ones, the quality ones are sold elswhere..

  25. Lucretia Galuszka
    February 16, 2019 | 2:14 pm

    Another issue of which on-line talking may existing is the self-confidence of your individual. As it will be less difficult to help communicate on the internet, someone who’s going to be really self conscious as well as shy could possibly have a hard time keeping up with who seem to he / she genuinely is usually. The individual as an alternative is similar to living the two oceans.

  26. Independent Book Publishing Company
    February 16, 2019 | 6:23 pm

    I really like and appreciate your article post.Thanks Again. Really Cool.

  27. 네임드사다리
    February 16, 2019 | 7:22 pm

    always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a great deal of link really like from

  28. buy real viagra online cheap
    February 16, 2019 | 7:43 pm

    is it bad for a 19 year old to take viagra viagra online what has more side effects sildenafil or
    cialis.

  29. Merlin Hugley
    February 17, 2019 | 1:19 am

    Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always feel exciting to read content from different authors and practice a little something off their shop. I’d favor to utilize some with the content on my blog.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks
  1. Foakleys
  2. eos matrix mnenia
  3. Marcel Fernandes
  4. ios app rating
  5. https://qconnewyork.com/ny2018/ny2018/speakers/eran-eyal.html
Leave a Reply


Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://mynextbuck.com/selling_a_kid_or_a_kidney/trackback/

Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?

A few years back a friend who had just recently been married was wrestling with the to have or not to have kids question. Knowing that I had collected several of these critters myself, she asked my thoughts on the risks and rewards that come along with being a parent. Our discussion was almost exclusively in terms of emotional risk/reward, keeping monetary considerations out of it. In retrospect, that was an egregious error.

I’ve been reflecting on that conversation some 10 years later, having read an article recently about a father’s failed attempt to sell his kid in a Wall-mart parking lot. How far are we willing to go to support ourselves in a bum economy? Surely he could have sold a kidney or something. I found myself asking an odd question. Which is the better risk reward scenario, having a child or selling a kidney?

I’m a bottom line kinda guy so I’m inclined to use a balance sheet to get a clear picture of what we’re looking at.

According to ABC News the Department of Agriculture recently released a report saying that the average middle class kid born in 2008 will cost approximately $221,190 to raise from birth to 18 years of age. That’s a BIG investment. Factor in college costs and that investment can double, even triple. But here’s the good news. Kiplinger says that if you’re the average family, you’ll see a tax benefit of $2900 a year. Well, that’s something for the positive side of the ledger.

Let’s suppose that I decide to sell my kid instead. It is illegal to sell a child, so we’re talking theoretically, of course. Prices vary wildly when selling children. There’s the story of the guy who tried to sell an infant in Walmart for $30, a mother who attempted to sell her kid to the highest bidder on eBay, and a father who put his kid on Craigslist for $5000. Reportedly, he stated in the ad that his kid was one of a kind, a great kid. Hmmm. And you’re selling him. Are kids covered under lemon laws?

Okay, since he’s such a catch, let’s go with the $5000 kid. The child is reportedly four years old so we prorate the expense over that term. We divide $341,674 by 18 and we get $18,981.89 per year…times 4 equals $75,927.55. That’s our total cost to date. Factor in revenue of $5000.00 on our $75,927.55 investment.

Here’s our balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost from 0-18 years old: $291,570 (adjusted for inflation)
  • Est cost of tuition to a 4 year college: $50,104 (avg. out of state tuition per collegeboard.com)
  • Total: $341,674
  • Prorated over 4 years: $75,927.55
  • Revenue: $5000
  • Net Profit/Loss: ($70,927.55)

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this is not a good business model.

As an alternative, let’s sell a kidney. Apparently this too is illegal. Well, I was never one for rules so let’s continue regardless.

Just as with selling kids, estimates for kidneys vary greatly. In his article entitled How much is your kidney worth, John Stossel uses the example of a listing that appeared in the for sale section of a St Petersburg Fla. newspaper. “Kidney, runs good, $30,000 or best offer.” Thanks to the numerous after dinner martinis I’ve consumed, my kidneys are fermented. That ought to be worth something extra so I’m holding out for more.

There are harvest centers in some parts of the world where the trafficking of a kidney is an acceptable practice. In Israel a kidney can fetch as much as $80,000. Those numbers are much more enticing. Hell, for that price, take two. They’re small.

To get a proper revenue estimate we’ll have to make a few assumptions, Let’s say that I’m 30 years of age. That’s a typical child bearing age, one that is consistent with having a four year old. Let’s also assume that the average price of a martini where I live is $7.50. If I have one martini a day from the age of 21 until the age of 30, I will have spent $2,737.50 a year on the maintenance of my finely fermented kidney. Times 9 years, that would be $24, 637.50 total investment in my kidney over that time.

Here’s my balance sheet:

  • Estimated cost of fermented kidney: $24,637.50
  • Revenue: $80,000.00
  • Net profit/Loss: $55,362.50

I’ve made a profit!

This appears to be a much more solid revenue source than selling the kids. While the Tea Party and Occupy folks argue about how to resolve the budget deficits experienced worldwide, it occurs to me that we may have hit on a realistic solution. Pardon me whilst I step out for a few…

It’s martini time.

Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, humor writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse NY. You can find his Childrens books at Amazon.com or Costco. Stop by and see him at his Orange sports and entertainment website where it’s always martini time.

4,084 Responses to Selling a kid or a kidney – Which is the better business model?
  1. Elizabet
    February 14, 2019 | 5:50 pm

    And this is an funding risk price taking.

  2. 사다리사이트
    February 15, 2019 | 12:12 am

    Here are a number of the web-sites we recommend for our visitors

  3. Gwen Nolley
    February 15, 2019 | 2:37 am

    We areWe’re a group of volunteers and startingopening a new scheme in our community. Your siteweb sitewebsite providedoffered us with valuable informationinfo to work on. You haveYou’ve done an impressivea formidable job and our wholeentire community will be gratefulthankful to you.

  4. đông tăng long
    February 15, 2019 | 4:47 am

    Im obliged for the post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.

  5. pool builders in inland empire
    February 15, 2019 | 5:55 am

    I savour, cause I discovered exactly what I was taking a look for. You ave ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  6. West Palm Auto Accident Lawyer
    February 15, 2019 | 8:14 am

    Very good post. I will be dealing with many of these issues as well..

  7. سكس مراهقة مترجم
    February 15, 2019 | 9:04 am

    The data talked about in the article are a few of the most effective obtainable

  8. South African blog
    February 15, 2019 | 10:51 am

    Utterly written content, Really enjoyed looking at.

  9. Lovie
    February 15, 2019 | 5:20 pm

    Thanks in your interest in Funding Advice.

  10. Used cars in Hudsonville
    February 15, 2019 | 6:48 pm

    Thanks-a-mundo for the article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.

  11. Brent
    February 15, 2019 | 6:57 pm

    And this is an funding danger worth taking.

  12. Deidra Brittingham
    February 16, 2019 | 3:02 am

    I wanted to make a remark to say thanks to you for these awesome ways you are giving out on this site. My incredibly long internet search has now been paid with professional knowledge to talk about with my contacts. I ‘d state that that most of us visitors actually are rather blessed to be in a fabulous network with so many wonderful professionals with insightful advice. I feel very much lucky to have come across the webpage and look forward to many more awesome times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  13. Shenita Ogasawara
    February 16, 2019 | 3:26 am

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this blog. He used to be totally right. This put up actually made my day. You cann’t consider simply how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  14. Gwendolyn Castellaw
    February 16, 2019 | 3:53 am

    I’m impressed, I must say. Really, I rarely encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail regarding the head. Your idea is outstanding!

  15. 토토사이트
    February 16, 2019 | 5:25 am

    below you will discover the link to some internet sites that we assume you’ll want to visit

  16. Damian Bolar
    February 16, 2019 | 5:41 am

    Just right points?I might be aware that as anyone who in point of fact doesn’t write on blogs so much (if truth be told, this can be my first publish), I don’t assume the time period ‘lurker’ could be very turning into to a non-posting reader. It’s no longer your fault in the least , but possibly the blogosphere may just get a hold of a greater, non-creepy name for the ninety folks that revel in studying the content material .

  17. Spencer Bringhurst
    February 16, 2019 | 7:29 am

    Hi” best wishes to you and your very nice blog”   

  18. LolyCam 18+
    February 16, 2019 | 7:31 am

    we came across a cool web page that you just could love. Take a search should you want

  19. Edgardo Fanzo
    February 16, 2019 | 8:02 am

    Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  20. Lucie Bulat
    February 16, 2019 | 8:58 am

    Hi there, this is fantastic posting. I must say i enjoyed. However there are tons of off topic comments. I really advise you to get rid of or something like that. That’s only my opinion. Good luck!

  21. 먹튀검증
    February 16, 2019 | 11:40 am

    usually posts some incredibly exciting stuff like this. If you are new to this site

  22. Sharyl Hardyman
    February 16, 2019 | 11:44 am

    Terrific paintings! This is the kind of info that are meant to be shared across the internet. Disgrace on the seek for not positioning this submit upper! Come on over and seek advice from my site . Thanks =)

  23. 사설토토
    February 16, 2019 | 11:57 am

    check beneath, are some absolutely unrelated internet sites to ours, even so, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use

  24. Rubye Zinni
    February 16, 2019 | 12:23 pm

    you can buy some promise rings from ebay but those are the cheap ones, the quality ones are sold elswhere..

  25. Lucretia Galuszka
    February 16, 2019 | 2:14 pm

    Another issue of which on-line talking may existing is the self-confidence of your individual. As it will be less difficult to help communicate on the internet, someone who’s going to be really self conscious as well as shy could possibly have a hard time keeping up with who seem to he / she genuinely is usually. The individual as an alternative is similar to living the two oceans.

  26. Independent Book Publishing Company
    February 16, 2019 | 6:23 pm

    I really like and appreciate your article post.Thanks Again. Really Cool.

  27. 네임드사다리
    February 16, 2019 | 7:22 pm

    always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a great deal of link really like from

  28. buy real viagra online cheap
    February 16, 2019 | 7:43 pm

    is it bad for a 19 year old to take viagra viagra online what has more side effects sildenafil or
    cialis.

  29. Merlin Hugley
    February 17, 2019 | 1:19 am

    Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always feel exciting to read content from different authors and practice a little something off their shop. I’d favor to utilize some with the content on my blog.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks
  1. Foakleys
  2. eos matrix mnenia
  3. Marcel Fernandes
  4. ios app rating
  5. https://qconnewyork.com/ny2018/ny2018/speakers/eran-eyal.html
Leave a Reply


Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://mynextbuck.com/selling_a_kid_or_a_kidney/trackback/