Friday Financial Foul Ups: How Getting Married Wrecked My Finances

This week’s Friday Financial Foul Up will feature a post by Mrs. Micah from Finance For a Freelance Life.  Since I started blogging six months ago, she has been one of the most helpful people I have met.  I am glad to call her my friend in the blogosphere, but most importantly,a friend away from the interwebs as well.  If you aren’t already, you should follow her on twitter (@mrsmicah) and see what exciting things she is up to (in November she participated in Nanowrimo, donated marrow, and did outstanding on her GREs).  In honor of her 2.5 year anniversary she wanted to share with you her biggest financial foul up to date… getting married.  I hope you enjoy.

If you would like to add your own financial foul up to this series, please contact me here.
_________

I just celebrated 2.5 years since my biggest Financial Foul-Up. It was so big that I even have pictures. See?  If you thought “but wait, that’s a wedding photo!” you were right.

My biggest financial foul-up was getting married. I’m not talking about the wedding either. That came in under $5,000 and was primarily paid-for by my parents. I made the dress with lace given by my aunt and plain white muslin. Micah wore a suit. We had a low-key lunch. And apparently it was fun for more than just us because several of my friends told me their weddings were inspired by ours. But we’re talking about financial foul ups. The foul up came not in the wedding but in the marriage. Because while I had several thousand in savings and no debt, my new husband had over $100k in car and student loans. Eep! That F-d over my financial life pretty thoroughly. We’re digging out faster than many people, but since neither of us is interested in a high-paying field it’ll still take a while. After talking with Brian about the whole thing, I started coming up with alternatives for a more financially-responsible marriage.

Alternative One: Marry a Financially Responsible Man

There’s a lot to be said for this one. If Micah had very poor money skills, I would probably have stopped dating him to get away from the train wreck. As it was there was a lot he (like many other people) didn’t know about personal finance. I knew about his debt long before we got engaged, but he lived in such a small way that I knew we could make it work as we paid the loans off. Unlike some, he didn’t have grand expectations of life just after school, nor a desire for lots of gadgets or cars or anything else. It helped that he had grown up without too much and had been used to making do with less his whole life.

Though I married my man, I think there’s nothing wrong with rejecting a man entirely because of his debt or the way he handles his finances. Financial problems can tear a marriage apart, and if he’s not willing to be a responsible partner with you then it’s much better not to marry him. If you’re thinking about marrying a man in debt, stop to ask how he got there (high-level education with partial-tuition scholarships and parents unable to pay the difference in Micah’s case) and whether this will continue to be a problem after you get married. If he’s willing to stay in debt in order to live at a level he can’t afford and if financing that level caused the debt in the first place, then you’re better off away from the oncoming financial wreck. On the other hand if he’s been splitting a $600 1-bedroom apt with a roommate (cheap in DC) and eating peanut butter sandwiches every day, then he’s probably a good bet.

Alternative Two: Wait Until the Debt is Repayed to Get Married

I think this is also a legitimate thing to require of a future partner. If they’re dealing with a substantial debt it may be wise to ask them to repay all or a lot of it before you tie the knot. In our case, the sum was big enough that it would have taken a number of years to get it paid off. If it could’ve been done in one year, we might have postponed the wedding.

Alternative Three: Not Combine Our Finances

Some couples don’t combine finances after they’re married. How this affects their debt depends on state laws and the time when that debt was incurred. Because Micah did not have a lot of credit card debt (and we paid that off first thing after the wedding) and had a good credit score, we combined finances and even have a joint credit card account. If I had established credit on my own before our wedding, we might have done things differently. In cases of older couples, particularly those who have been married before, it makes sense sometimes to keep things entirely separate if you can make it work.

Alternative Four: Get Married Anyway

Which is what we did. So there, Brian and My Next Buck readers, that’s the biggest, most life-changing, worst financial decision I’ve ever made. But after 2.5 years, I still think it was a good one. Some men are just worth $100k.

———-

Do you like this series? Check Out The Previous Foul Ups:

Foul Up #13 – Evan (My Journey To Millions) – Speeding Up Payments on Loan Interest, Not Principal
Foul Up #12 – Elle (Couple Money) – Stretching Yourself to have a Comparable Car to Your Friends
Foul Up #11 – Revanche (A Gai Shan Life) – Sibling Bailouts Cost More than Just Money
Foul Up #10 – Brad (Enemy Of Debt) – There’s Nothing Interesting About Interest-Only Loans
Foul Up #9 – Jason (Redeeming Riches) – Buying a Car with a Balloon Payment at the End
Foul Up #8 – David (Money Under 30) – Being Too Eager to “Move Out” and “Move Up”
Foul Up #7 – Matt (Debt Free Adventure) – Upside Down and Paying The Price
Foul Up #6 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – Overdue Books Prevent Me From Renting an Apt
Foul Up #5 – Kelly Whalen (The Centsible Life) – Poorly Planned Vehicle Purchase Costs $24,000
Foul Up #4 – Stephanie (Poorer Than You) – Signed My Life Away at Age 17
Foul Up #3 – Deliver Away Debt – How I Wasted Over $10K and 11 Months
Foul Up #2 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – Quick Fixes to Weight Loss
Foul Up #1 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – How I Didn’t Earn $3000 in Free Money

5,490 Responses to Friday Financial Foul Ups: How Getting Married Wrecked My Finances
  1. Computer & Technology
    November 15, 2018 | 8:07 pm

    I will immediately snatch your rss as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me understand so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  2. Reyes Granda
    November 15, 2018 | 8:20 pm

    Have seen and heard about such an insect for the first time. I really like knowing about various types of insects and animals. The life cycle of the insect shared in here seems to be very interesting. Will look forward to more such interesting posts.

  3. Health Gov
    November 15, 2018 | 8:53 pm

    whoah this blog is excellent i really like studying your articles. Keep up the good work! You already know, many individuals are hunting round for this information, you can help them greatly.

  4. Home For Sale
    November 15, 2018 | 9:05 pm

    Wow! This can be one particular of the most helpful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Excellent. I’m also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

  5. Health Magazine
    November 15, 2018 | 9:20 pm

    I have not checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  6. Lipstick
    November 15, 2018 | 11:23 pm

    whoah this weblog is magnificent i really like studying your articles. Stay up the great paintings! You recognize, many persons are hunting around for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  7. Health Policy
    November 16, 2018 | 12:04 am

    I would like to express my appreciation to this writer for rescuing me from such a situation. Because of looking through the search engines and obtaining notions which were not pleasant, I figured my life was well over. Living without the presence of strategies to the difficulties you’ve fixed as a result of your good review is a critical case, and ones that could have badly damaged my entire career if I hadn’t noticed the blog. The capability and kindness in handling a lot of stuff was crucial. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I had not encountered such a step like this. I’m able to at this point look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the skilled and amazing help. I won’t be reluctant to propose your web blog to anybody who ought to have assistance on this topic.

  8. Whole Food Vitamins
    November 16, 2018 | 12:29 am

    I was just looking for this info for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Generally the top sites are full of garbage.

  9. home improvement loans
    November 16, 2018 | 1:34 am

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

  10. shoes
    November 16, 2018 | 1:35 am

    Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  11. Healthcare Articles
    November 16, 2018 | 1:47 am

    Well I sincerely liked studying it. This tip provided by you is very helpful for good planning.

  12. Healthcare Articles
    November 16, 2018 | 3:07 am

    great publish, very informative. I ponder why the opposite specialists of this sector do not notice this. You must proceed your writing. I am sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  13. karnizy dlja shtor
    November 16, 2018 | 6:44 am

    really very good submit, i basically adore this website, keep on it

  14. agencia marketing digital madrid
    November 16, 2018 | 7:33 am

    I think this is a real great article.Much thanks again. Will read on

  15. pedophile
    November 16, 2018 | 9:47 am

    Hello there! I just would like to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent info you have right here on this post. I will be returning to your web site for more soon.

  16. ออแกไนซ์
    November 16, 2018 | 12:51 pm

    the time to read or visit the material or web pages we have linked to beneath the

  17. homosexual
    November 16, 2018 | 4:08 pm

    Hello there, I discovered your blog via Google while looking for a related subject, your site got here up, it appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  18. Kasha
    November 16, 2018 | 4:58 pm

    Thanks , I ave recently been looking for info about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I have discovered so far. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

  19. Gabrielle
    November 16, 2018 | 9:21 pm

    Thank you ever so for you post.Thanks Again.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks
  1. search engine optimization
  2. gas fire pits outdoor
  3. statement mailing services
  4. seo companies
  5. parenting classes free
  6. threshold jackson outdoor fire bowl
  7. chatbot
  8. message boards for offices
  9. facebook bot
  10. parenting coach
  11. 123Movies
  12. Visit
  13. https://allthingscrypto.tech/dyno/
  14. Visit
  15. Confident Parent Coach
  16. parental coaching
  17. internet bot
  18. life coach for teens
  19. burner for fire pit
  20. clocks for facilities
  21. chat robot
Leave a Reply


Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://mynextbuck.com/friday-financial-foul-ups-how-getting-married-wrecked-my-finances/trackback/

Friday Financial Foul Ups: How Getting Married Wrecked My Finances

This week’s Friday Financial Foul Up will feature a post by Mrs. Micah from Finance For a Freelance Life.  Since I started blogging six months ago, she has been one of the most helpful people I have met.  I am glad to call her my friend in the blogosphere, but most importantly,a friend away from the interwebs as well.  If you aren’t already, you should follow her on twitter (@mrsmicah) and see what exciting things she is up to (in November she participated in Nanowrimo, donated marrow, and did outstanding on her GREs).  In honor of her 2.5 year anniversary she wanted to share with you her biggest financial foul up to date… getting married.  I hope you enjoy.

If you would like to add your own financial foul up to this series, please contact me here.
_________

I just celebrated 2.5 years since my biggest Financial Foul-Up. It was so big that I even have pictures. See?  If you thought “but wait, that’s a wedding photo!” you were right.

My biggest financial foul-up was getting married. I’m not talking about the wedding either. That came in under $5,000 and was primarily paid-for by my parents. I made the dress with lace given by my aunt and plain white muslin. Micah wore a suit. We had a low-key lunch. And apparently it was fun for more than just us because several of my friends told me their weddings were inspired by ours. But we’re talking about financial foul ups. The foul up came not in the wedding but in the marriage. Because while I had several thousand in savings and no debt, my new husband had over $100k in car and student loans. Eep! That F-d over my financial life pretty thoroughly. We’re digging out faster than many people, but since neither of us is interested in a high-paying field it’ll still take a while. After talking with Brian about the whole thing, I started coming up with alternatives for a more financially-responsible marriage.

Alternative One: Marry a Financially Responsible Man

There’s a lot to be said for this one. If Micah had very poor money skills, I would probably have stopped dating him to get away from the train wreck. As it was there was a lot he (like many other people) didn’t know about personal finance. I knew about his debt long before we got engaged, but he lived in such a small way that I knew we could make it work as we paid the loans off. Unlike some, he didn’t have grand expectations of life just after school, nor a desire for lots of gadgets or cars or anything else. It helped that he had grown up without too much and had been used to making do with less his whole life.

Though I married my man, I think there’s nothing wrong with rejecting a man entirely because of his debt or the way he handles his finances. Financial problems can tear a marriage apart, and if he’s not willing to be a responsible partner with you then it’s much better not to marry him. If you’re thinking about marrying a man in debt, stop to ask how he got there (high-level education with partial-tuition scholarships and parents unable to pay the difference in Micah’s case) and whether this will continue to be a problem after you get married. If he’s willing to stay in debt in order to live at a level he can’t afford and if financing that level caused the debt in the first place, then you’re better off away from the oncoming financial wreck. On the other hand if he’s been splitting a $600 1-bedroom apt with a roommate (cheap in DC) and eating peanut butter sandwiches every day, then he’s probably a good bet.

Alternative Two: Wait Until the Debt is Repayed to Get Married

I think this is also a legitimate thing to require of a future partner. If they’re dealing with a substantial debt it may be wise to ask them to repay all or a lot of it before you tie the knot. In our case, the sum was big enough that it would have taken a number of years to get it paid off. If it could’ve been done in one year, we might have postponed the wedding.

Alternative Three: Not Combine Our Finances

Some couples don’t combine finances after they’re married. How this affects their debt depends on state laws and the time when that debt was incurred. Because Micah did not have a lot of credit card debt (and we paid that off first thing after the wedding) and had a good credit score, we combined finances and even have a joint credit card account. If I had established credit on my own before our wedding, we might have done things differently. In cases of older couples, particularly those who have been married before, it makes sense sometimes to keep things entirely separate if you can make it work.

Alternative Four: Get Married Anyway

Which is what we did. So there, Brian and My Next Buck readers, that’s the biggest, most life-changing, worst financial decision I’ve ever made. But after 2.5 years, I still think it was a good one. Some men are just worth $100k.

———-

Do you like this series? Check Out The Previous Foul Ups:

Foul Up #13 – Evan (My Journey To Millions) – Speeding Up Payments on Loan Interest, Not Principal
Foul Up #12 – Elle (Couple Money) – Stretching Yourself to have a Comparable Car to Your Friends
Foul Up #11 – Revanche (A Gai Shan Life) – Sibling Bailouts Cost More than Just Money
Foul Up #10 – Brad (Enemy Of Debt) – There’s Nothing Interesting About Interest-Only Loans
Foul Up #9 – Jason (Redeeming Riches) – Buying a Car with a Balloon Payment at the End
Foul Up #8 – David (Money Under 30) – Being Too Eager to “Move Out” and “Move Up”
Foul Up #7 – Matt (Debt Free Adventure) – Upside Down and Paying The Price
Foul Up #6 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – Overdue Books Prevent Me From Renting an Apt
Foul Up #5 – Kelly Whalen (The Centsible Life) – Poorly Planned Vehicle Purchase Costs $24,000
Foul Up #4 – Stephanie (Poorer Than You) – Signed My Life Away at Age 17
Foul Up #3 – Deliver Away Debt – How I Wasted Over $10K and 11 Months
Foul Up #2 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – Quick Fixes to Weight Loss
Foul Up #1 – Brian (MyNextBuck) – How I Didn’t Earn $3000 in Free Money

5,490 Responses to Friday Financial Foul Ups: How Getting Married Wrecked My Finances
  1. Computer & Technology
    November 15, 2018 | 8:07 pm

    I will immediately snatch your rss as I can’t to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me understand so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  2. Reyes Granda
    November 15, 2018 | 8:20 pm

    Have seen and heard about such an insect for the first time. I really like knowing about various types of insects and animals. The life cycle of the insect shared in here seems to be very interesting. Will look forward to more such interesting posts.

  3. Health Gov
    November 15, 2018 | 8:53 pm

    whoah this blog is excellent i really like studying your articles. Keep up the good work! You already know, many individuals are hunting round for this information, you can help them greatly.

  4. Home For Sale
    November 15, 2018 | 9:05 pm

    Wow! This can be one particular of the most helpful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Excellent. I’m also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your hard work.

  5. Health Magazine
    November 15, 2018 | 9:20 pm

    I have not checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last few posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  6. Lipstick
    November 15, 2018 | 11:23 pm

    whoah this weblog is magnificent i really like studying your articles. Stay up the great paintings! You recognize, many persons are hunting around for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  7. Health Policy
    November 16, 2018 | 12:04 am

    I would like to express my appreciation to this writer for rescuing me from such a situation. Because of looking through the search engines and obtaining notions which were not pleasant, I figured my life was well over. Living without the presence of strategies to the difficulties you’ve fixed as a result of your good review is a critical case, and ones that could have badly damaged my entire career if I hadn’t noticed the blog. The capability and kindness in handling a lot of stuff was crucial. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I had not encountered such a step like this. I’m able to at this point look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the skilled and amazing help. I won’t be reluctant to propose your web blog to anybody who ought to have assistance on this topic.

  8. Whole Food Vitamins
    November 16, 2018 | 12:29 am

    I was just looking for this info for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Generally the top sites are full of garbage.

  9. home improvement loans
    November 16, 2018 | 1:34 am

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?

  10. shoes
    November 16, 2018 | 1:35 am

    Great blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  11. Healthcare Articles
    November 16, 2018 | 1:47 am

    Well I sincerely liked studying it. This tip provided by you is very helpful for good planning.

  12. Healthcare Articles
    November 16, 2018 | 3:07 am

    great publish, very informative. I ponder why the opposite specialists of this sector do not notice this. You must proceed your writing. I am sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  13. karnizy dlja shtor
    November 16, 2018 | 6:44 am

    really very good submit, i basically adore this website, keep on it

  14. agencia marketing digital madrid
    November 16, 2018 | 7:33 am

    I think this is a real great article.Much thanks again. Will read on

  15. pedophile
    November 16, 2018 | 9:47 am

    Hello there! I just would like to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent info you have right here on this post. I will be returning to your web site for more soon.

  16. ออแกไนซ์
    November 16, 2018 | 12:51 pm

    the time to read or visit the material or web pages we have linked to beneath the

  17. homosexual
    November 16, 2018 | 4:08 pm

    Hello there, I discovered your blog via Google while looking for a related subject, your site got here up, it appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  18. Kasha
    November 16, 2018 | 4:58 pm

    Thanks , I ave recently been looking for info about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I have discovered so far. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

  19. Gabrielle
    November 16, 2018 | 9:21 pm

    Thank you ever so for you post.Thanks Again.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks
  1. search engine optimization
  2. gas fire pits outdoor
  3. statement mailing services
  4. seo companies
  5. parenting classes free
  6. threshold jackson outdoor fire bowl
  7. chatbot
  8. message boards for offices
  9. facebook bot
  10. parenting coach
  11. 123Movies
  12. Visit
  13. https://allthingscrypto.tech/dyno/
  14. Visit
  15. Confident Parent Coach
  16. parental coaching
  17. internet bot
  18. life coach for teens
  19. burner for fire pit
  20. clocks for facilities
  21. chat robot
Leave a Reply


Wanting to leave an <em>phasis on your comment?

Trackback URL http://mynextbuck.com/friday-financial-foul-ups-how-getting-married-wrecked-my-finances/trackback/